The special self always feels imperfect because its self-image is constructed by subtracting or adding something from its basic self to look perfect.

Newsletter on 19 May 2025

The special self is characterised by its relentless need for control. It strives to orchestrate every aspect of its appearance, fearing any deviation from its carefully constructed image. The fear drives it to constantly establish others as inept, maintaining its belief in being better.

The special self sees itself as the master, to hide that it feels helpless

Being the special self is not about what you do but about perceiving yourself as in control. The special self, with an air of superiority, sees itself as the master using remote controls and coffee machines. Caring for children and pets is not an act of love but a means to feel superior. By explaining to itself what happens and why it does something about it, the special self feels in control.

The special self also feels in charge when it states that something it did or did not do was because it thought it was for the best. If something does not happen as planned, it upholds the idea of being in control by stating that it has changed its mind.

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Claiming that something is your fault is a sure way to assert your influence over the outcome, implying that you can make things happen.

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The special self despises being told what to do. If it cannot avoid it, the special self fabricates a story in which it is detached from what happens. Then, it looks like it does not take orders but goes with the flow.

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The special self disguises feelings of helplessness by helping others, thus appearing powerful.

The special self manipulates others into believing it is in charge, to convince itself about its greatness

Under the guise of considerate behaviour, the special self executes a manipulative tactic. It gives others space and time, but is a ploy to maintain dominance and control, keeping others in a subordinate position.

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When the special self loses self-control and reveals traits it believes only others have, it often employs manipulative tactics to evade guilt. One such tactic is to shift blame onto others, using phrases like »Look what you have made me do« or »You made me like this« This deflects responsibility and cunningly makes others feel accountable for the special self’s actions.

Another way for the special to feel in charge is to assume a secondary role, thus deflecting responsibility and attributing the failure not to itself.

Or the special self flatters itself that it has reflected, then apologises and basks in the feeling of being ‘terrific.’ The next time others accuse the special self of being wrong, it repeats the cycle, reflects, apologises, and feels it is the best. This pattern continues in a seemingly endless cycle of reflection, apology, and self-praise, all underpinned by a cunning and manipulative strategy.

Yet another manipulative tactic the special self uses to assert its superiority is to listen to others only to redirect the conversation to itself.  As soon as the other finishes talking, the special self claims to understand them because of a similar experience it had in the past. This use of personal experiences is a calculated move to make the special self the centre of the conversation and belittle the others as mere extensions in the special self’s self-centred story.

Alexius’ Duality Hacks requires neither restraint nor sacrifice

If you recognise some of the above traits in yourself, you may think that you must restrain yourself to improve. However, that is the way of the special self. Besides, Alexius’ Duality Hacks are not about constraining or pushing you to improve. So, forget about becoming better and go on being special while using one or more of the below Duality Hacks:

• Duality Hack #2,1-5: You are not what you pretend to be. So, pretending you are special, you are not that.
• Duality Hack #3.1-8: Perceiving everything as a symbol of oneness, being special is no different from being basic.
• Duality Hack #4.1-6: When you include being special, it does not define you.
• Duality Hack #6.1-6: Perceiving your reaction to being special as ’it is what it is’ reveals that special is paired with natural, constantly interacting. So, you are in the duality flow (see Duality Hack #8.1-9), where you are neither special nor natural, but the energy that their interaction generates.

There are more Duality Hacks you can apply to your perceived imperfections.

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The special self is an altered version of the basic self. Read more about these fundamental selves in Duality Hack #5.1-6.