– updated August, 2026
Pointing the YOU finger (index) at someone as bad, the three ME fingers (next to the index) point back at yourself. Following them helps you see the suppressed desires or insecurities you hide by pointing the YOU finger at someone else. Accept those feelings as your own, and you free yourself from hidden guilt and the need to blame others.
Duality Hack #1.10 from the free eBook Alexius’ Duality Hacks
When you point the YOU finger at others to blame them for your unhappiness, your three ME fingers point back at unresolved issues within.
For instance, you point the YOU finger at your boss and accuse them, silently or aloud, of being a ruthless dictator. At the same time, the three ME fingers point back to yourself, showing what you want to hide by accusing the boss.
You may be ashamed of your desire to rule, and to hide it, you blame the boss for being a dictator. Or your feelings of inferiority may be triggered around authority figures, so you accuse the boss of putting you down to avoid facing them.
You always look for others’ opinions to maintain your specific appearance. Yet, you do not know what they think. It’s something you imagine. Therefore, you are up against nobody but yourself.
Perhaps you felt worthless as a child and strove for perfection to earn love. Now, people-pleasing feels natural, so you adapt to your boss to gain acceptance. Still, you hide that you manipulated the boss into liking you, all to suppress feelings of worthlessness by claiming the boss exploits you.
If you want to know what prevents you from loving yourself, blame others for your misery. They reflect your discomfort, showing what you must accept as yours to feel loved. [Photo: Alexius]
Following the three ME fingers to yourself and face feeling unloved
You don’t need to revisit the past to address old patterns. They repeat now, so face them today. For instance, you point the YOU finger at authorities to hide old feelings of being unloved. Then following the three ME fingers brings you face-to-face with feeling unwanted, here and now.
Facing these feelings isn’t about analysing, embracing, or speaking out loud. These actions distance you from what you hide. Instead, if you see someone as dominating and it triggers feelings of being small, unheard, or insignificant, you fully experience these feelings by being nothing but them.
When you are entirely your suppressed feeling, there’s nothing to define it. Hence, since nobody feels dominated, there’s no need to blame others for being dominant. In short, when you follow the three ME fingers, it takes less than a minute to set yourself free from past patterns and, thus, free others from your judgment that stems from feeling worthless.
Projection is a psychological defence mechanism. We attribute unwanted traits or feelings to others. By projecting our negativity onto the world, we make it the contrasting background to our perceived positivity. So our view of the world reveals what we need to accept within ourselves. This makes us flexible, rather than trapping us in false positivity. [Photo: Alexius]
Condemn Alexius to free yourself
Start freeing yourself by pointing the YOU finger at Alexius – condemning him for typos or whatnot. Then follow the three ME fingers to identify the feeling he triggers. If you feel nothing but this, there’s not something else to define it. Hence, since the unpleasant feeling is undefinable, you cannot hold onto it any more.
If you want to see what prevents you from enjoying yourself, blame somebody else for your misery. That reflects what you see as wrong in yourself, thus keeping you from feeling loved.
Thus, the next time you encounter a distressing situation, laugh and wonder why you once found it upsetting.
Point the YOU finger at Alexius and notice your three ME fingers pointing back. Feel the impact of your accusation on you. By being that feeling and nothing else, the alleged problem loses definition. It’s no longer there, freeing both you and Alexius.
Appendix
While the above focuses on feeling upset, the same principles apply to feeling content. For instance, when you point the YOU finger at someone and say, »You make me happy,« you can see what that person triggers in you. By facing it, you no longer depend on others for your happiness. This independence enables you to be in relationships without limiting each other. To summarise, recognising both negative and positive projections helps free you from dependency.
Leave a Reply