Inclusion neutralises apparent differences, thus undoing the belief in a world separated by time and space.
Duality Hack #4.4 – from Alexius’ Duality Hacks.
Coming from the heart has nothing to do with spirituality
Many people think they can avoid the brain by coming from the heart. But every experience is created by the brain, which expects your response to its experiences to come in pairs of contrasts, confirming its world of duality. So, if you have a singular response from the heart, you go against the dualistic reality of the world you experience.
In contrast, if you accept the way of duality, you do not suppress hate only to feel love coming from the heart but see hate and love as a pair confirming the brain’s duality fantasy; you can include both unedited. So, since they are neither singular nor twofold but gone, you are in a state of not-knowing, having escaped the brain’s domain.
When you, out of habit, suppress something to feel good, you censor the moment, thus feeling separated. But if you include being manipulative, you are in the moment as it is, hence feeling connected. [Photo: Alexius]
Inclusion undoes the belief in separation
Since a world of duality rests on polarity, you cannot have satisfaction without annoyance. Hence, if you suppress irritation, hoping to feel only satisfied, you feel disconnected.
Blaming others for your discomfort is only possible when you believe in separation, which is the cause of irritation.
Many blame others for this disappointment. But that enhances the belief in separation and, therefore, dissatisfaction. No worries. The disappointment is a friendly warning: You cannot feel satisfied if you separate yourself from your feelings because life is all-inclusive. So, if you take notice and include irritation, you do not feel limited, thus not irritated.
This inclusion of uncomfortable feelings is not similar to the Jungian idea of integrating the shadow side of the personality because inclusion is not about becoming whole but nobody.
For example, suppose you do not project the uncomfortable feelings you experience in yourself onto others but include them by being what you feel and nothing else. In that case, there are no other feelings to define you. So, you are in a state of not-knowing.
That also applies to comfortable feelings justified with somebody. When you assume your spouse causes your love feeling, you exclude it from yourself. But if you include it by being nothing but your love, you get the bliss of nothing instead of the frustration of something.
However, it takes more than one to include something, and there is no more than that which is One, so inclusiveness is as illusionary as exclusiveness. But contrary to exclusiveness, which makes you feel alone, inclusiveness makes you feel together. Hence, it undoes the belief in separation that seems to hide oneness.
To include is to undo the past in the present
Alexius shares his home with five cats. One of them, Guinevere, has a deep territorial instinct. So when a new cat appeared in our home out of the blue, she freaked out and furiously ran away. Later, she returned but did not notice that the trespasser was still there. Hence, she relaxed as usual until she suddenly saw the intruder.
Again, she furiously left, and even though the new cat was gone when she returned, she was still agitated. To prove it was justified, she searched for spots of leftover scent from the visitor. Whenever she found one, she screamed to show Alexius how much the outsider had hurt her.
The anger Guinevere held onto was directed against the foreign cat. But it had gone, so it could not feel it. However, Guinevere felt it. Her fury ate her up from the inside.
Maybe Guinevere tried to scare off the newcomer because she feared Alexius would prefer the new cat and kick her out like the people she was living with did when she was a newborn. But Alexius cannot know what motivates Guinevere, and she is probably unaware of it.
Fortunately, we do not have to know why we freak out. Nor do we have to search the past for hidden patterns. All we need is to include the present pain by being nothing but that because, as already mentioned, that leaves nothing to define it. Hence, the painful story we have made about our past is gone.
Alexius includes his bullshit
Once, Alexius was stuck in the rainforest without food and water for two days. He tried to get out by following a dried-out river down the mountain. On the way, he lost several toenails because the branches were so dry that they broke when he tried to hold onto them.
On the more even stretches, it sometimes took him half an hour to walk a distance he could have walked in two minutes. He had to pass through thorny lianas tightly woven together, ripping his clothes apart and making him bleed all over. Each time he beat his way through the thorny bushes, he felt so tormented that he dismissed the immense beauty in front of him as crap.
His conditioned opinions of good and bad made him think he was a victim of the world. But suddenly, he felt he was imprisoned by the opinions he projected onto the world. So, he included feeling wrong as his emotion instead of excluding it by mourning about his surroundings.
Of course, that did not change the fact that he was stuck deep inside the rainforest. However, since he did not project his feelings about it onto his surroundings but included his unedited reaction, every moment became the perfect moment, whether inside or outside bushes with thorny lianas. Nothing was wrong or missing.
The TV Series Man vs. Bee with Rowan Atkinson is a perfect example of believing one’s rage is caused by something outside, then fighting it instead of including one’s despair.
It was not an intellectual process but an emotional one that led to the realisation that Alexius did not need to escape anything when not avoiding but including his inner despair. The change was so sudden that Alexius burst out in laughter.
His adventure illustrates that when we do not try to eliminate our feelings about the moment but include them unedited, nothing bothers us because we are in a state of not-knowing.
The world continues as usual, but we do not judge it as accustomed because nobody is in a state of not knowing. Thus, nobody deems differences to make a difference. So, when a helicopter finally wired Alexius up from the rainforest, and he returned to civilisation, it was all the same.
Fortunately, you do not have to be lost deep inside the rainforest to enter a state of not knowing. You can do that anywhere by including your unedited experience of the present moment.
To be inclusive means including your reaction to the present moment unedited. You look at thoughts and feelings passing by until they are played out. It takes no time because thoughts and feelings are fleeting when you do not suppress them to create a special moment per your conditioning.[Photo: Alexius]
Including the present is easy
It is straightforward to include your experience of the present moment. For example, if the guy in the image to the right did not notice the Chinese wallpaper, he does not include it. And if he did not look at the Chinese food but indulged in Danish childhood memories, he includes his reaction to the thoughts and feelings arising from time gone by.
In other words, if he was not aware of the Chinese surroundings but of his Danish memories, his present moment is an experience of the past shaped by his culture. So, he includes the present moment by including his reaction to his past. If he notices the Chinese surroundings later and feels amazed by the new impressions, he includes his response to that. And if he then talks about the food, he includes how that makes him feel. Being all-inclusive, he enters a state of not-knowing while eating Chinese.
From there, he does not perceive appearances as something, thus in the bliss of nothing. That is, until he perceives an appearance as something unique. Then, he forgets the bliss of nothing and gets the frustration of something.
Being inclusive undoes separation. For example, if you include your response to your lover’s behaviour, you do not need to blame your lover for how you feel. Hence, you do not feel separated.
Instead of cancelling out contrasts one by one, you can speed up undoing the belief in separation by including the most fundamental contrasts: expansion and contraction, right and wrong, or grown-up and childish – or less fundamental contrasts like past and future, giving and receiving, high and low. For example, if you feel nothing but right, there is no wrong to define you are right. Hence, separation falls apart.
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