Being a parent, teacher, musician, or whatnot is something we simulate inside us and then replicate outside us. Knowing everything we do is a pretence, we are not established as limited beings because we are not what we pretend to be.

From Duality Hack #2.2 in Alexius’ Duality Hacks.

If you believe you are shaped and not formless, you can undo your mistake by pretending to be definitive because what you pretend to be, you are not. However, unconsciously, you already pretend to be something specific.

Samples of unconsciously pretending to be specific

• When you plan to move and look at different places for your new home, you probably picture what kind of people used to live there. Then, imagine what type of person you could be if you moved in.
• At work, you may pretend to be someone who fits into the environment socially and professionally. But when not at work, you may pretend to be free. And going to the disco, you most likely act like a party-goer.
• If your kids are worried, you pretend you can help them. And if they are naughty, you pretend you will teach them a lesson.
• When you are attracted to someone’s look or vibe, you pretend the other person is the right match for you.
• Making a pass on someone, you pretend to be what you imagine the other person looks for.
• Although the brain is in charge (see Duality Hack #6), you disguise it by pretending you are the boss. For example, you wake up in the morning and pretend to feel bad so you can stay in bed as if you planned it. Or you might get up immediately because you pretend to have something important to do, thus making it look like you are in charge. 

Samples of consciously pretending

• You have sex with your spouse, but only your body is there. You fantasise about being with somebody else while pretending to enjoy your spouse.
• Parents pretend to be responsible and to have all the answers. If they have nothing good to say, they make something up to make their kids feel good.

Being someone is fun when knowing it is pretence

You might be aware you pretend to be what you are not in the above situations. But you are probably unaware that everything is a pretence. The energetic people in advertisements, the glamorous stars on the stage, or the beautiful people on social media are playing acts. And so do you when being someone on dating sites, social media, or playing an air guitar. It is fun when you know honesty is also a pretence.

Authenticity is an illusion in a world limited by time and space

Many think they should stop acting and find their real selves to express themselves truthfully. However, that which is you is oneness. And since it is formless, there is nothing to express. Besides, formlessness is endless, so being specific is make-believe – like appearing as someone in the fantasy world of a video game, a movie, a book or a dream.

In other words, being someone specific is impossible, but it is possible to pretend it. Doing that is neither bad nor good but a tool to have fun. Yet, whether you believe or pretend to be in a video game, it takes the same course – likewise, when you appear as someone in a world of duality. However, not believing but pretending to be ‘there’ you feel entertained regardless of the outcome.

Pretending to be someone frees you from the trouble of being perfect

Movies use collectively agreed-upon concepts to create familiar moods that match our memories. Therefore, when you watch a movie, you do not feel touched by it but by the memories it triggers. You project them onto the film to verify your past conditioning. Actually, this applies to everything you see. Nothing affects you specifically because everything in a world of duality is twofold, not singular. See Duality Hack #8.

Therefore, when an experience seems to make you feel something specific, you have fabricated it from memories edited over time into a singular concept. For example, when someone looks or behaves almost perfectly, you exclude the parts regarded as imperfect from your awareness to feel happy about your conditioned idea of perfection.

By replicating romantic events from movies, you disguise that you have no genuine feelings for the person. Maybe you invite the imagined perfect person to a dinner you set up with red wine and candlelight, as seen in movies. Thus creating an atmosphere that suggests you have romantic feelings for the other.  Suppose you succeed in making the person you imagine as perfect feel wanted, and you keep meeting. In that case, you establish interaction rules to hide the fact that the other person does not interest you. All you care about is what you can do to the person’s parts judged as perfect.

If you are accused of being shallow in the relationship, you can prove your commitment by pointing to the rules you strictly follow. However, this solution, like other ways to fix your insecurity, confirms that you are someone separated from others, which is the cause of your problem

Read about genuine feelings versus conceptualised ones in Duality Hack #5.2 and #8.1.

Having fun pretending to be what you are not

The solution to not feeling authentic is not to find your genuine feelings. You do not have any. Like in roleplay, everything is pretence. Fortunately, you do not have to hide that when you become aware that being honest is made up.

Hence, you have fun pretending to be someone separated from others but not being it, as you are not what you pretend to be. Consequently, you do not enhance but phase out the belief in separation.