4.4 Sadness is a close friend of gladness [draft]

Updated June 8, 2022

When feeling sad is perceived as ‘it is what it is,’ it is revealed to be paired with gladness. This revelation sets off the experience of other duality pairs, for example weakness and wellness, disappointment and contentment or tears and laughter. Going with the duality flow, you, eventually, feel so entertained that you cannot ask for more. Thus there is no need for duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Suppose you do not acknowledge the negativity in yourself but project it onto others. In that case, you disconnect yourself from the positivity inside you because it is your negativity that defines it. The same applies if you hide negative thoughts and feelings from your awareness by projecting them onto vulnerable parts of your body. Long story short, when you do not ratify your negativity, the experience of being positive is fake. Read here about how you quickly bring back what you have projected onto others.

To formulate genuine positivity in you, the negativity you encompass but have cut off from your awareness must be restored as yours. This is done by acknowledging it is your own negativity you face when you perceive something in the world as unfavourable because what you receive is what you have. Just like the sun’s colouration of your skin is determined by the pigmentation inside you. This does not mean you have a beggar inside when you see someone begging on the street. But if you deem that as negative, you have this negativity inside you.

Just like a quick look from above is sufficient to ratify if there is the water in a well, a glance of the negativity inside you is enough to feel you have it, so your reaction to it can be perceived as ‘it is what it is.’ This literally opens up your response and reveals its counterpart. Read more about that here. Since the experience of this, and any other, polarity makes you feel complete, the belief in duality can be undone completely.

In hack #4.2 The brain’s script and how to perceive it to feel happy, you can read about how the perception ´it is what it is´reveals that your singular opinion of something is twofold. Hence you do not get the frustration of singularity but the satisfaction of togetherness.

Any experience perceived as positive is bound to be complemented by another deemed as negative because everything comes in pairs of opposing experiences in a world of duality. A foreground, for example, is paired with a background so that they can define each other. Read more about the contrasts of duality here. For example, negative thinking confirms positivity, hate verifies love, sadness substantiates gladness, and so on. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This was the short version. The longer one is that when you begin acknowledging negativity as your own, its interplay with positivity may not get your attention right away. Instead, you may feel like going to hell because you are overwhelmed by forgotten and unpleasant emotions that keep coming out of the dark. Read more about that here. Perhaps this starts slowly with a familiar sense of depression that you a long time ago hid from your awareness by imagining dumping it behind the feeling of a vulnerable part of the body.

But since depression often is repressed anger, sooner or later, it flares out in brutal hellfire. Maybe it feels as if acid-like splashes come out of the body part where you initially imagined hiding your anger. Or perhaps it feels like a ruthless and evil force tortures you.

When something inside of you, interpreted specifically as evil, is perceived as ´it is what it is,´ it turns out to contain goodness. Likewise, there is success in failure and an angel in a monster. However, none of these opposing elements are important in themselves. It is the interaction of them that feels like paradise, whereas standing explicitly by on one of them feels like shit.

Not avoiding but acknowledging the feeling of hell, this single-minded response can be perceived as ‘it is what it is. Since that turns it into a dualistic reaction, hell is not alone anymore but complemented by heaven. Amazed by this polarity, you realise there is no heaven without hell in a world of duality – just like there is no breathing in without breathing out. You cannot have one without the other. They are like two sides of the same coin.

In other words, the acknowledgement of hell does not make it go away but unmasks heaven, which lay bare hell. This interaction does not happen in a balanced or harmonious way, but in an adventurous manner in which you experience rapidly going up and down between the pleasure of heaven and the displeasure of hell – like having fun going up and down on a roller coaster or relaxing playing yoyo. You can also compare it to the ocean waves: sometimes they are big and fast, at other times they are small and slow or hardly there.

Since duality is about twofoldness, and you believe to be in a world of duality, going with the interaction of hell and heaven makes you feel complete. And since this automatically leads to the experience of other pairs of duality, the feeling of completeness, eventually, becomes so intense that you forget to define yourself by duality. Consequently, there does not appear to be someone hiding non-duality. The process leading up to this may seem more comfortable if the problematic areas in the body, where you once attempted to conceal singular feelings, are fixed.

If you acknowledge every feeling that pops up, there are no feelings to hide. Consequently, you are free from fear.

In a world of duality, everything comes in pairs. So if you do not try to split any of them to hold onto a singular perspective of love, for example, you are aligned with duality. This does not mean things work better for you, but that it does not bother you. You feel complete because you are in the duality flow. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When dualism is accepted, you cannot suppress a singular feeling, such as hate, because its nature is constantly interacting with love, so none of them is permanent. Consequently, if you have imagined hiding hatred in a tension of the body, hate starts interacting with love when you acknowledge duality.

Therefore, since you stop focusing on the tension where you wanted to hide hate, the communication between the body and the brain is not blocked anymore. And since it has the blueprint of the body’s composition, the brain can restore the body by its anatomy with the help of nature and health care professionals.

The brain automatically maintains the body if you do not try to perfect it through mental ideas of wellness, yoga, for example. The body sees such attempts as an attack on its physical integrity.

In a world of duality, there is nothing better than the duality flow. But since most want to be in control and establish that via single-minded postulates, it may, at first, feel anxiety-provoking to be in the duality flow. To stop the constant interaction of opposing experiences, you may decide to be unquestionably right about something. Although this gives you a sense of superiority, the overall feeling is despair because you never seem to get it quite right. That is until you stop upholding singular opinions as facts but go with the duality flow. In that, any point of view is exposed as twofold. Thus you feel nonsectarian, which is necessary to feel completed by the constant interaction of opposites in a world of duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

To clarify, the brain, not you, is supposed to handle the body. But of course, you call a health care professional if it needs help. But it does not need your help connecting with nature. The brain is already hooked you up with the cosmos. That is why you do not fall off the planet, for example. When mental ideas do not disrupt this linkage with the universe, you feel entirely connected.

This does not mean you must abandon your wellness ideas to feel connected with nature but that you perceive your interpretation of them as ‘it is what it is.’ This reveals your reasoning is not singular but dual. Therefore, since you are in a world of duality, you are aligned with its nature. Being that, you do not wonder what is coming because you are in the duality flow. Read more about that here. Hence your next step comes automatically – just like breathing in follows breathing out.

All in all, there is nothing you need to stop thinking or doing if you want to undo the belief in duality. It ends by itself if your interpretations of your experiences are perceived as ‘it is what it is.’ This, as already said, aligns you with the world of duality, and since everything has a beginning and end in such a world, your dualistic interpretation is the beginning of the end.

Here you can read more about the obstruction of the natural relationship between the brain and the body and how the connection can be restored.

A state of not-knowing does not provide you with the fulfilment of duality but the bliss of nothing. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Should the descent into hell* seem so distressing that you overlook its counterpart, relaxation, a break from duality may be the way to go. This is not done by pacifying yourself via meditation, praying or sedative music, for example, but by not withholding your anxiety, so the full speed of it can ignite a take-off into the empty breath (read more about that in hack #5.1 Uncontrolled speed leads to a state of not-knowing).

The empty breath immediately brings you into a state of not-knowing, where experiences go on as usual. But since there is nobody to respond to them, there are no reactions to establish them as different. Hence the idea that you can be and have more than that which is one falls apart. And so does the brain after 20 minutes, 45 at most, because it has nothing to process. Therefore, if you do not want to undo the belief in duality permanently, you should not remain in a state of not-knowing too long at a time (read more about that here).

Fortunately, not much time is needed in a state of not-knowing to have the slate wiped clean (read more about that here), so you return to a world of duality as the basic self Read more about that here. Since it perceives your response to an experience as ‘it is what it is,’ your reaction is not sensed as singular but twofold. Therefore, as you probably already have figured out, descending to hell is complemented by ascending to heaven. Therefore, since you feel complete, you have a whole breath from hell to heaven. If you are into chakras, you go from the root chakra to the eighth about the head, for example by surfing one of the circles in the empty breath. See the paragraph SURFING THE EMPTY BREATH in What does the empty breath feel like?

This is not to say that non-duality is a fusion of heaven and hell or the union of all contrasts. On the contrary, non-duality is not anything, nor nothing, because it takes more than one to be something. Yet it is everything because non-duality is formless, thus endless.

However, the topic of hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality is not non-duality but duality. You need to be fully anchored in the idea that you are someone in a world of duality if you want to undo that belief – just like you need to play a game to finish it. Hence we continue in the context of duality in the following article ‘What if…?’ versus ‘it is what it is’.


*) You may find the book Descent to the Goddess interesting regarding the descent to hell, even though it is not in line with Alexius’ Duality Hacks and is supposedly only for women.


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality.