To be special and depressed, or basic and happy, or nobody and blissful

Updated May 19, 2022

The special self wants to make selected ones feel unique, so they become dependent on it to feel important.

The special self is always looking for errors in its personality to correct them, thus appearing in control. But the basic self does not consider itself to be in charge of anything. Instead, it is a servant of everything because it adjusts to the flow of thoughts coming from the brain, which does not know about personal preferences but what is in the best interest of the whole.

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Thinking you are in control, you are under enormous pressure. Therefore, you must always look for thoughts that can be used to compose a perception of your experiences to prove that you, not the brain, are in control.

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The basic self’s perception is in sync with the stream of thoughts coming from the brain. Therefore, since it is rewarded with shots of happiness, it does not need to be or achieve something special to feel good. But the special self always looks for special moments in the past to replicate in the present, so it still feels special.

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The special self always finds something about others that it judges as wrong. Hence they become the imperfect background for its perfection.

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When the special self perceives to have failed, it takes on being secondary. Thus the failure does not seem to have been caused by itself but by somebody else.

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If the special self discovers that others have interpreted something it did as wrong, it avoids feeling guilty by shouting, »Look what you made me do.«

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The experiences the brain produces to make you feel like someone can, in many ways, be compared to the news that Facebook generates for you. Based on the info Facebook has gathered about you, it collects what its artificial intelligence predicts you wish to see, regardless it is fake or not. However, unlike Facebook, the brain has all your info, so the experiences you get from it is based on you. Thus what you experience is what you are. This cannot be altered – only your perception of it.

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The special self needs to convince at least one person about how crucial it is, which it achieves by smothering someone with the kind of attention it senses, that is required to make that person feel chosen. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Again and again, the special self likes to show off as if it has invaluable insights from extraordinary experiences that can help others. But since this is no more possible than to help those in the world of a dream, the special self pieces together an interpretation of its interaction with others, which in retrospect, establishes itself as someone who has helped them get better.

Though it may not manipulate a lot into believing this, it often convinces at least one person that it is crucial. This it accomplishes by making this person feel so wanted and loved that it thinks it cannot live without the one making it unique.

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The experience of being a substantial being in a tangible world is a construction of thoughts compiled by the brain. But since it cannot manifest its fabrication, it has included feeling it in the experiences it produces. In other words, what and where you experience to be is an illusion, including that the brain or something else makes it – just like nobody is making a dream and nobody is in it.

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Think about the remote control for the television. You can hit a certain number of buttons assigned to specific channels. But what the channels reveal is beyond your influence. All you can do is hit the different buttons. It is not difficult, so it does not establish you as important. However, if you see yourself as unique, you imagine you are the master of buttons, therefore establishing your significance.

As you can see, being the special self is not about what you do, but the thoughts concerning it. Especially thoughts in the category of master and servant – like when you think you master the remote control, your coffee, children or pets. Or if you have a boss but still seem to be on top of it by thinking, you could do it much better.

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To prevent the image of the special self from cracking, it is crucial not to feel its emotions. Therefore, since the special self suppresses them, it becomes so numb that it cannot feel anything. So instead, it invents stories about feelings that fit its self-perception. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self needs to be part of something important, not to feel alone. Thus it checks all notifications on Facebook and makes sure to like what its friends write so that it will like it and be liked by them, and they all are confirmed to be together in a group of extraordinary people. That is if you believe there is something in cyberspace.

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If somebody triggers an old feeling of rejection in the special self, it first interprets this as an attack. Next, it justifies feeling rejected because of the attack. Therefore, since the feeling seems to originate in the attacker, the special self can conclude the feeling does not come from itself. If the perceived attacker exposes this self-deception, the special self points out something from the past to make the attacker feel guilty. Thus the special self is off the hook and can rest assured that it is loved, and the attacker is not.

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It is the counterpart of a feeling that defines it. For example, hate defines love. Thus you must sense hate to feel love. But since the special self excludes the unpleasant part of a duality pair, it has no hatred to define when it feels love. Therefore, since it does not know what love is, it reckons it feels love when it meets somebody whose psyche or body complies with its ideas of perfection.

Fortunately, this mistake is easily corrected by perceiving the believed love affair as ‘it is what it is.’ That reveals love is coupled with hate, and they are constantly interacting to define each other. Consequently, the love for somebody is not based on certain expectations that have been met but on having a genuine feeling of love regardless of expectations being met.

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When a ball is coming your way, it´s a natural reflex to respond and following such reflexes is pure fun.

When a ball comes your way, it is an automatic reflex to respond to it. Automatically following such reflexes is natural and invokes how easy it is to be the basic self. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Sometimes a doctor may check the function of a body by knocking on special points to see if the involuntary movements work. But everything you think you do is automatic. If you believe to be in control, you have worked hard to perceive the body’s activity as generated by you.

To fabricate this perception, you suppress the reflexes that do not fit into your idea of calling the shots, for example sexual instincts. Thus you become a person who seems to do everything by your own choice. And others appear to be doing things against or for you by their choice. However, keeping up this impression is hard because you always have to hide that your reaction to something is involuntary.

It is so much easier to go with the flow of the natural reflexes. It also feels much better because, being nobody, there is not somebody else – and that is peaceful.

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The basic self does not need to establish anything as special. It knows all experiences are produced side by side in the brain  – just like everything is together on your hard disk or in the cloud even though they seem to be divided into different appearances on your screen. Therefore, as nothing actually is separated, the apparent differences do more make a difference.

But the special self wants to believe the apparent difference makes a difference, so it can judge one as better than another and see coherence and consistency where there is none. The purpose of this is to make it look like the special self makes a difference, thus will make the future better. But since the future experience is produced and regulated by the brain and not you, this is impossible.

Yet, it is possible to perceive the experiences created by the brain, so everything that does not establish you to make a difference is excluded. But since this is achieved by imagining, you can hide the eliminated experiences behind the experience of bodily pain, the special self ends up with psychosomatic problems. See hack #4.3 The toxic mix of physical and non-physical issues.

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Nobody is unjustly treated in the brain’s script. It is all about being entertained by duality, which you are when not perceiving your reaction to your experiences singularly but as ‘it is what it is’ because that reveals your response is twofold. Therefore, since you are in a world of duality, you feel complete

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The special self likes to meet new people. However, not to get to know them, but to answer their questions. This is a perfect opportunity to reedit the story it has fabricated about itself to become more exciting. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you, in your part of the world, are supposed to feel disrespected when someone is more than 15 minutes late for a meeting, you can, in a rational way, prove to others that you are in the right when you claim to feel hurt. But since rationally explaining a feeling changes it into a mental concept, you do not feel hurt but victorious because you succeeded in convincing others that you were right when you said you had been hurt.

However, the feeling of victory only lasts as long as others are willing to listen to your story of being unfairly treated. You feel frustrated when somebody else’s story catches their interest. No worries. If you perceive the meaning you have assigned to your story as ‘it is what it is,’ nothing in it adds up to something specific. Hence the story cannot be used to justify being unfairly treated, thus not suppressing what you actually feel. Being in touch with that makes you feel so fulfilled that you do not need the satisfaction of being in the right. Read more about made-up feelings here.

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Should you have conditioned yourself to feel relaxed when you hear a specific kind of music, you find yourself part of a story, where you know you will relax every time you hear this music. In other words, what you believe in feeling is a product of your story.

And as most of what you believe in feeling rests on stories, you are hardly ever in touch with your emotions but how you have conditioned yourself to feel them. This suits the special self very well. It does not want to experience its feelings as they are, but how it imagines them to be for someone as great as itself.

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The stories you make to hide what you feel sooner or later clash with the actual experiences of the world where you seem to be. Thus you feel very confused.

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In the past, the special self made up a hateful story as the foundation for perceiving the present to confirm its past judgment of others as evil. And since the past, therefore, appears to repeat itself, the special self can rest assured in its perception of itself as good and others as bad.

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The special self likes to hide its loneliness by having others depend upon it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

You are not reading this, and it has not been written. It is impossible because there is no more than that which is One since it is formless, thus endless. Yet, it seems possible to believe there is more than oneness. And since you appear to be reading and Alexius writing this, you and he are one in that belief. Hence thinking there is more than that which is one is a positive confirmation of oneness.

So even though the belief in a world where there seems to be more than one appears to hide that which is One, it does not deny it as this belief would not be possible without it since there is no more than that which is One.

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Alexius’s nature is not to exclude but include, so since the special self is made by excluding what is judged wrong in the basic self, he cannot perceive himself as special. Yet he can simulate being that by imitating the behaviour of the special self, which is always to be and have more – just like he can simulate to be someone in the game of Monopoly who wants to grab everything from everyone.

At times he is so successful in doing this that he starts to believe he is special and thus feels as confused as those considering themselves unique.

But since he does not exclude feeling confused, its chaotic energy is free to ignite a take-off into the empty breath, where the slate is wiped clean. Thus he again is indifferent to what and where he seems to be and as nobody can pretend to be somebody. Read more about that in hack #1.3 Pretending to be someone definitive. And check out hack #5.1 Uncontrolled speed leads to a state of not-knowing to learn how to ignite a take-off into the empty breath.

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The English language suits the special self because it is built upon the ‘I’ as primary and others as secondary. You do not talk with others but to them. And when you speak about friends and yourself, you always start by mentioning yourself.

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In a state of not-knowing,* there is no sense of separation or union, as they are concepts based on the belief in separation. There is nothing but the bliss which comes from not judging the apparent differences to make a difference. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

It takes so much time and effort to invent a special self from which selected experiences are eliminated or changed, so you appear to be absent of power strivings, selfishness, greed, anger, negative thoughts or whatever you assume to be politically incorrect. And it feels limiting. On the other hand, you feel free and feathery when not altering or rejecting something in your perception to shape the image of you into something special.

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Since everything in a world of duality comes in pairs and the special self excludes the apparently dark side of those in its perception of itself to appear as someone definitive, the power of duality is not expressed but suppressed. And even though the special self never feels it has enough energy, it does not correct its perception. It fears it will be devoured by the darkness it has excluded if it includes it.

It is in the right about being terminated. But only as someone definitive and not in the way it expects. The uncontrolled energy of suppressed feelings ignites a take-off into the empty breath.* In this state of not-knowing* the special self disappears into the nothingness from where it seemed to have arisen. Hence all that is left is the bliss of emptiness. From there, the self returns to a world of duality with the slate wiped clean. Therefore, since darkness and lightness are perceived as two sides of the same coin, feeling grim contains feeling bright and vice versa. Consequently, it is in the power of the duality flow. See hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality.

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A state of not-knowing* does not reveal non-duality, but that a world of duality is nothing. The result of this revelation is not that you choose to return to non-duality because that requires more than one. Instead, you come back to the consciousness of being someone in a world of duality as a basic self.

Being basic, you sooner or later are so happy that you forget to choose, and since not choosing does not require more than one, the enlightenment of that which is One is bid welcome. See hack #6.1 From the inward-facing senses through a black hole into that which is One.

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In a world where there seems to be more than one, you have to choose something if you want to uphold the belief that there is more than that which is One. Thus choosing not to choose anything, the belief falls apart. This might be easier to choose if you stick to being the basic self as it houses in so much happiness that sooner or later you forget to choose.


*) Read about the empty breath and a state of not-knowing in the following articles or the below hacks


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.1 The basic self versus the special one.