You must play the game of duality to hack it

Updated December 29, 2022

First, Alexius thought his fear was caused by his father, who often exploded in anger and beat him when he was a child. Next, Alexius assumed he caused it himself because he was afraid of not being good enough. Then he stopped looking for a cause. And as there is no effect without a cause, fear as a specific feeling was gone. Thus he was free to go with the duality flow. Be aware that it is not physical, thus not in the body but in the psychological sphere. You can read where that is in The psychological zone is anywhere but in something solid. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This article continues the previous one, Alexius’ childhood, where his conditioned one-sided perception in his childhood was revealed as twofold. In this article, we take a more general look at how to be in sync with duality, thus feeling complete.

When Alexius was about six years old, lying on the floor while his father kicked him, Alexius became aware that his life was a charade. Thus he instinctively mimicked fear by shivering all over. Since it seemed to hold off his father, he concluded that making the body tremble to appear scared was the way to stop being maltreated.

And since he forgot everything he did was pretence, provoking a muscle spasm in the body became his way to fend off feeling helpless. Fortunately, later he remembered that everything he does is a pretence. Therefore, since his feelings were unreal, there was no reason to fight feeling helpless.

Next, he made the obvious conclusion that nobody does anything authentic. It is something they pretend, like when we pretend to do something in a game. Consequently, there is no reason to fear or judge anybody or expose their emptiness except to help them see that being someone in a world of duality is as unreal as being in a game. See more about playacting in hack #1.3 Pretending to be someone definitive is liberation.

After that, he realised that feeling helpless is not a specific feeling because, in a world of duality, everything comes in pairs of opposing elements that constantly interact. And going with the interaction, you feel complete in the duality flow. But as promised in the last article and the beginning of this one, this piece is not about Alexius’ past and his way to the duality flow but how you get there and follow it to the end of duality.

When you interpret something as beautiful, you will also see something deemed ugly. Opposing contrasts are the way of duality. Thus you are not going to feel the satisfaction that comes from twofoldness if you try to correct or remove the ugliness to hold onto a distinct view of beauty.

Twofoldness occurs as automatically as breathing in is followed by breathing out – and it feels as satisfying. Accepting one polarity, it is soon replaced by another. Therefore, since you are in the duality flow, you feel vitalised. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Since everything is twofold in a world of duality, a singular impression, such as love, is fake. That is why you feel disconnected when you hold onto a specific feeling. But, no worries, it is easily corrected. First, you perceive your fixed feeling as ‘it is what it is.’ Then, in a state of expectation calling for nothing specific, your special feeling gently turns inside out and unveils its counterpart inside it. In this case, love gently opens, and hate quietly comes out. However, like breathing in and out does not happen simultaneously, love and hate are not felt simultaneously.

But the love you feel is defined by hate, which is characterised by love. Thus you see, there is no true love without hatred and vice versa. Should you, out of habit, suppress hatred to hold onto a specific memory of love, you feel disconnected until you remember that feeling connected comes from twofoldness, thus not separating love and hate.

Living in a world of duality is so much easier when you know that wholeness in such a world is to be twofold.

You may not observe the transition from love to its counterpart, hate, just like you generally overlook that breathing in is replaced by breathing out. Consequently, it probably takes time to acknowledge the constant movement between the opposing poles of duality – in this case, love and hate. And it may take even more time to sense the duality flow, like rolling waves without highs and lows, moving throughout your awareness (read more about that here).

Nevertheless, since the perception ‘it is what it is’ aligns you with duality, you feel connected immediately. However, it does not sync you with duality if you assume your response to an experience is the same as the experience because that does not reveal the interaction of opposites but states your one-sided opinion as a fact, thus that the world is not dual but the specific way you have decided to see it.

In other words, you have used the perception ‘it is what it is’ to disguise that you believe ‘I know what it is’. That happens, for example, if your angry reaction to someone is mistaken for the person. Then anger is not understood as something you feel about someone but how that person looks. So perceiving this individual as ‘it is what it is,’ you use the perception to suppress your response to someone, thus appearing detached from the person proved to be as you decide. In other words, you actually have used the perception ‘I know what it is’, thus hanging onto a single-minded opinion.

When you accept the constant interaction between up and down, you laugh when on top because you are not scared of falling down. And you cry when you go down but without the fear of being stuck at the bottom. Consequently, you have a splendid time going up and down in a world of duality.

However, if you hang onto a distinctive view of something, there is nothing to describe it, wherefore you feel apart. On the other hand, twofoldness makes you feel together in the interaction of opposites.

That something is ugly is not a fact but how you perceive it. However, this singular Interpretation prevents you from seeing it as it is because everything comes in pairs of opposites in a world of duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you uphold a romantic idea of love by hiding your hatred in a rigid part of the body, you set yourself free from this link of a pshycholigal and physical issue by perceiving your reaction to the rigidity as ‘it is what it is.’

That reveals your response is twofold, so is no specific response to confirm the stiff body part hides your hatred. The sense of nothingness that replaces it makes you laugh.

So if you wish to feel the togetherness of twofoldness, it is not your experience of something that you perceive as ‘it is what it is.‘ Instead, it is the specific response you determine your experience brings about. For example, if you decide your reaction to being rejected is sadness, you perceive that as ‘it is what it is.It reveals your response is not one-sided but twofold. Thus sadness does not settle into definite grief but gently opens up and reveals gladness inside it.

In other words, when the definitive meaning you have assigned to a response is perceived as ‘it is what it is,its opposite is revealed. That is not a metaphor. Literally speaking, you feel sadness replaced by gladness, not quickly but gradually and as automatically as breathing in is followed by breathing out.

However, you are probably so used to hiding how you interpret your responses to make it look like you are cool, so it takes a while before you notice you always choose a single-minded reaction that establishes you are in-the-know. But when you become aware of that and perceive the definitive meaning you assigned to your response as ‘it is what it is,’ it opens up, and its counterpart unfolds from inside, as already described.

Therefore, since your reaction is not singular but dualistic, it does not appear exclusively right or wrong, thus generating neither pleasure nor worry. Instead, it brings about a satisfaction that remains no matter what happens because it does not depend on something specific.

The perception ‘it is what it is’ does not set you free from anger but free to experience it paired with delight. In other words, this perception does not sets you free from duality but free to enjoy it. Actually, so much that, someday, you forget to remember it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

To escape fear, feeling attacked, furious or hopeless many people choose a distinctive opinion of something. However, since you have to fight to uphold your specific point of view, what you try to escape is enhanced. In contrast, choosing an opinion that is twofold, there is no specific view to uphold, Instead, you are in the resilient energy between opposites, like the springy drive that makes a yoyo going up and down. Hence you feel revitalised by the duality flow.

Since it is not a sensational feeling of adventure but a gentle sense of pleasure, you may fail to notice it. Nevertheless, you will definitely notice that the present moment does not require any effort.

That does not mean you cannot respond with sadness if somebody rejects you. But since sadness is perceived as ‘it is what it is,’ it does not settle into a definite feeling of grief. On the contrary, it interacts with gladness. Accepting the interplay of opposing emotions in one polarity, another twofoldness rapidly replaces it. Thus you are in the duality flow.

When you anticipate your friends’ opinions about a specific feeling, it seems you experience it. Especially if you spin a story about the feeling and present it in a severe tone of voice enhanced by body language illustrating the feeling. Women often use this trick to appear as if they feel something special. But, like men, they do not know who they are. Thus they do not have a clue about what they feel. Unlike women, men do not act as if they feel something important because they think feelings get in their way. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Had you not perceived feeling sad as ‘it is what it is’ but held onto a definite feeling of grief, you would have had to cut off its counterpart, gladness, from your awareness by imagining it is hidden in the darkness of the body, for example, the chest. Hereafter, when you want to hold onto feeling specifically sad, you do that by sensing pain in the chest. Read more about that in hack #4.3 The toxic mix of physical and non-physical issues

o sum up, when your reaction to something is perceived as ‘it is what it is,’ the interpretation of the response is not limited to a singular feeling like shyness. Instead, you go back and forth between that and its contrast confidence, so the opposing elements can define each other, thus establishing genuine feelings.

Being amused by this potency, you go along with the duality flow. Hence the polarity of shyness and confidence is soon replaced by another revitalising polarity. And so it goes until you feel so euphoric that there is no need for more, wherefore the belief in being and having more than that which is One is undone.

You repress your negativity only to appear positive, thus not getting the togetherness of the duality flow but the loneliness of singularity. Besides, being only positive, you do not feel genuine but fake because, without negativity, positivity cannot be defined. In other words, if you want to be genuinely positive, do not avoid your negative feelings by explaining them or justifying them by others but include them unedited, so they can define your positivity and vice versa. As a bonus, this interaction makes you laugh because you feel complete in the duality flow. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Consequently, you should not use the perception ‘it is what it is’ if you do not want to have the belief in being and having more than that which is One undone. Instead, you should use the perception ‘I know what it is.’ However, to make that perception work, you must ignore the counterpart of what you claim to know. So if you, for example, want to appear as if you know the way, you must hide feeling lost. But that makes you feel something is missing. And no matter where you look, you do not see it because you keep insisting, ‘I know what it is.’

But should you want to speed up the undoing of the belief in being and having more than that which is One, you say, ‘dunno what it is,’ thus forgetting you appear as someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. That does not mean your experiences are transformed. Change is a concept of duality. But it means there is nobody to confirm them as something. Hence you do not get the satisfaction of something but the bliss of nothing.

bottle-up-emotionsHow to suppress feelings?
If you are not already aware, here are a few samples:

  • Talking about what others do or say instead of how that makes you feel.
  • Trying to help others to remove the attention from you and how you feel yuorself.
  • Falling in love hides the self-hatred inside.
  • Talking about metaphysically things instead of acknowledging, what you feel.
  • Being upset about something on behalf of others.
  • Meditating, chanting, praying or doing similar things to fend off what you feel.
  • Finding psychological, or any other kinds of explanation for what you feel.
  • Eating or drinking to suppress ones’ feelings.
  • Trying to prove a factual point to hide what you feel.
  • Following ideas for living in the now, or trying to live by any other totalirian concept.
  • Blaming others and justify your feelings by them.
  • Much planning and control.
  • Constantly looking for new things to buy or change.
  • Trying to always be in a good mood.
  • Working a lot and for instance clean your home, when you are upset.
  • Reading or playing computer games regularly.
  • Having revenge sex.
  • Staging yourself on Facebook – perhaps to get as many likes and followers as possible.
  • Publish photos of your happy and shiny life on Instagram.
  • Quoting others to prove you are right.
  • Keep imagining how to solve things or just making up stories.
  • Sitting with crossed legs, locking the knees by bending them backwards, raising one or both shoulders or pushing them forward.
  • Holding back the breath.
  • Assuming to know what is right and wrong.
  • Concluding this and that.

And how to not suppress your feelings?
In the duality flow feelings become very defined, but only in relation to their counterpart. Therefore, since they are not definitive but relative, you have no specific feelings to suppress.

NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality.