You must play the game of duality to hack it [draft]

Updated August 30, 2022

First, Alexius thought his fear was caused by his father, who often exploded in anger and beat him when he was a child. Next, Alexius assumed he caused it himself because he was afraid of not being good enough. Then he stopped looking for a cause. And as there is no effect without a cause, the fear is gone. Thus he is free to go with the duality flow. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This article continues the previous one, Alexius’ childhood, where his one-sided perception of his childhood was revealed as twofold. In this article, we take a more general look at how to be in sync with duality.

Alexius became aware that everything is pretence when he was around six years old, lying on the floor while his father kicked him. Alexius was not scared, but he hated his father and wanted to punish him for his violent behaviour. Thus Alexius tried figuring out how to pretend he was frightened, so his father could see the horror he had caused in his rage against Alexius, who accidentally had let his bird out of the cage.

Instinctively Alexius began to tremble to make his father realise he tormented Alexius. If his father became aware of his cruelty, Alexius does not know. But he knows now that making the body tremble to appear scared turned out to be very bad for Alexius. It taught him how to react when he felt abused. So since then, involuntary movements of his muscles have been going on in most relations with authorities. Fortunately, his duality hacks have helped his body understand that spasms are unnecessary because Alexius is free to go with the duality flow.

However, as promised in the last article and the beginning of this one, this piece is not about Alexius’ past and his way to the duality flow but how you get there and go with it to the end of duality.

When you interpret something as beautiful, you will also see something deemed ugly. Opposing contrasts are the way of duality. But you are not going to feel the satisfaction that comes from twofoldness if you try to correct or remove the ugliness so you can hold onto a singular view of beauty.

Twofoldness occurs as automatic as breathing in is followed by breathing out – and it feels as satisfying. Accepting this polarity, it is soon replaced by another. And since you, therefore, are in the duality flow, you feel vitalised. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Since everything is twofold in a world of duality, a singular impression, such as love, is fake. That is why you feel disconnected when you hold onto feeling that. But, no worries, this is easily corrected. First, you perceive your fixed impression as ‘it is what it is.’ Then, in a state of expectation calling for nothing specific, your special feeling gently turns inside out and unveils its counterpart inside it. In this case, love gently opens, and hate quietly comes out. However, like breathing in and out does not happen simultaneously, love and hate are not felt at the same time.

The love you feel is defined by hate, which is determined by love. Thus you see, there is no true love without hatred and vice versa. Should you, out of habit, suppress hatred to hold onto a specific memory of love, you feel disconnected until you remember that you only feel connected when you do not separate love and hate.

You may not observe the transition from love to its counterpart hate, just like you generally overlook that breathing in is replaced by breathing out. Consequently, it probably takes time to acknowledge the constant movement between the opposing poles of duality – in this case, love and hate. And it may take more time to sense the duality flow that, like rolling waves without highs and lows, moves throughout the body (read more about that here).

Nevertheless, since the perception ‘it is what it is’ syncs you with the duality, you immediately feel connected. However, this perception does not sync with duality if you assume your response to an experience is the same as the experience. For example, when your nostalgic reaction to a photograph from your hometown is mistaken for the image, nostalgia is not understood as something you feel, but a description of the image is. Hence, you use the perception ‘it is what it is’ to suppress your sentimentality to appear distant from the world proved to be as you see it.

Duality can be compared to taking a ride on a rollercoaster. If you suppress the experience of going down, going up becomes boring, whereas having eyes wide open and experiencing both ways, they enhance each other. Hence you feel thrilled.

In other words, when you accept the constant interaction between up and down, you laugh when feeling on top because you are not afraid of falling down. And you cry when you feel going down but without the fear of being stuck there. Consequently, you have a splendid time in a world of duality regardless of feeling up or down.

But in a world of duality, everything comes in pairs of opposing elements. Since they constantly interact, like going up and down on a rollercoaster, there is no middle-of-road. Thus your perceived neutrality makes you feel incomplete.

That something is ugly is not a fact but how you decide to perceive it. However, this singular Interpretation prevents you from seeing it as it is because everything comes in pairs of opposites in a world of duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you have used your body to suppress hate, you set yourself free from the stiffness, used to maintain your stylised expression of love, by perceiving your reaction to your rigid body as ‘it is what it is.’

Since this reveals your response is twofold, there is no particular response to uphold the awareness of a stiffness in the body coupled with your inflated idea of love. Therefore, as your special love is replaced a sense of nothingness, you cannot help but laugh.

So if you wish to feel the completeness of twofoldness, it is not your experience of something that you perceive as ‘it is what it is.‘ Instead, it is the specific response you determine your experience brings about. Therefore, if you decide your reaction to having been rejected is sadness, you perceive that as ‘it is what it is.That reveals your response is not one-sided but twofold. Thus sadness does not settle into definite grief but gently opens up and reveals gladness inside it.

In other words, when the definitive meaning you have assigned to a response is perceived as ‘it is what it is,its opposite is revealed. That is not a metaphor. Literally speaking, you feel sadness replaced by gladness, not quickly but gradually, and as automatic as breathing in is followed by breathing out.

However, you are probably so used to hiding the interpretation of your responses that it takes a while before you notice you always choose a single-minded one. But when you become aware of that and perceive the definitive meaning you assigned to your response as ‘it is what it is,’ it opens up, and, as already said, its counterpart unfolds from inside it. And since this is not a singular but dualistic experience, it does not appear to be exclusively right or wrong, thus generating neither pleasure nor worry. Instead, it brings about a satisfaction that remains no matter what happens because it does not depend on something specific.

The perception ‘it is what it is’ does not set you free from ange but free to experience it paired with delight. In other words, this perception does not sets you free from duality but free to enjoy it. Actually, so much that you, someday, forget to remember it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

A hint: Your single-minded reaction to something is often caused by fear, feeling attacked, furious or hopeless. Thus you want to fight or hide until what you feel is perceived as ‘it is what it is.That reveals the opposite feeling and if you do not hold onto that, it is not about something specific but the resilient energy between opposites, like the springy drive that makes a yoyo going up and down.

This is the the duality flow. Since it is not a sensational feeling of adventure but a gentle sense of pleasure, you may fail to notice it if you are new to the duality flow. Nevertheless, you will definitely notice that the present moment feels fine regardless your appearance.

That does not mean you do not respond with sadness if you feel rejected by somebody. But since your reaction is perceived as ‘it is what it is,’ it does not settle into a definite feeling of grief. On the contrary, it interacts with gladness. If you accept this interplay of the opposing emotions in this polarity, another twofoldness rapidly replaces it. Thus you are in the duality flow.

Had you not perceived your response as ‘it is what it is,’ but made up a story in which you seemed exclusively sad in the way you assume others expect you to look when rejected, what you believe in feeling is speculative. Maybe shame is what you actually feel, but since it is suppressed, you cannot experience the interaction of shame and shameless.

Hence you do not feel the togetherness of twofoldness but the unfriendliness of separation. Most try to cut it off from their awareness by hiding it behind a sensitive part of the body, the chest for example. So when a psychological problem in the future triggers the hidden dissatisfaction, they can interpret the resulting feeling of unease in the chest as a physical issue. Thus, their past and current dissatisfaction are hidden from their awareness. Read more about that in hack #4.3 The toxic mix of physical and non-physical issues.

You must judge something as inharmonious to know when you experience something harmonious. But as most people thereafter exclude the inharmonious, there is not something to define the harmonious experience. Consequently, what they get is an intellectual idea about harmony.

To justify your hatred, something interpreted as outside of yourself is judged vicious. But perceiving this judgment as ‘it is what it is,’ you see that it is not singular but dual. Viciousness is complemented by gentleness so that they can define each other. And hate defines love, so you are only genuinely affectionate when your hatred is acknowledged. Since the experience of twofoldness is fulfilling, someday, there is no need to search for more, thus not believing that you are in a world where there seems to be more than one. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

There are, of course, instances where you feel relieved when someone leaves you. Hence you may want to extend that feeling by combining it with a sensitive part of the body, the chest for example. Thereupon you assume any physical sensation in the chest is caused by a psychological feeling, namely the sense of relief. But since that feeling is defined by pain, and you exclude that, you do not genuinely feel relieved.

When you anticipate your friends’ opinions about what goes on, it seems like a specific emotion is established. Especially if you spin a story about this feeling that you present in a severe tone of voice enhanced by body language illustrating the feeling. Women often use this trick to appear to feel something distinctive, although their emotions are suppressed. On the other hand, most men think it is great having their feelings cut off. Hence they are not distracted by them. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

What you believe in feeling is a concept of being relieved. So if it says you must smile satisfyingly to show something unpleasant is over, you do that to convince yourself and others that you feel relieved. Or maybe you compose a story in which you appear to have been freed from something terrible in the way your friends expect this to come about, so they can confirm you feel relieved.

To sum up, when your reaction to something is perceived as ‘it is what it is,’ it is not limited to a single-minded interpretation like shyness. Instead, you go back and forth between that and its contrast confidence, so the opposing elements can define each other, thus establishing genuine feelings.

Being amused by this potency, you go along with the game of duality. Hence the polarity of shyness and confidence is soon replaced by another revitalising polarity. And so it goes until you feel so euphoric that there is no need for more. Hence the belief in being and having more than that which is One is undone.

What you believe in being only exist in the impression you imagine you make in the world. And it only seems real because of what you imagine it does to you.

Consequently, you should not use the perception ‘it is what it is’ if you do not want to have the belief in being and having more than that which is One undone. Instead, you should use the perception ‘I know what it is.’ To make that perception work, though, you must ignore the counterpart of what you claim to know. So if you, for example, want to appear as if you know the way, you must hide feeling lost.

When you always perceive your reaction to something as ‘it is what it is,’ nothing seems wrong. Thus every moment is the perfect moment. And although it has nothing to do with the Enlightenment of that which is One, it paves the way. Hence your story unfolds as planned, and so does the Enlightenment of that which is One. Not in the sense that your story built up to it. On the contrary, when it seems to fall apart, and you do not try to avoid it, the Enlightenment of that which is One set in. Read more about that in HACK #6 The inward-facing senses, Enlightenment and glimpses of it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This, however, makes you feel something is missing. And no matter where you look, you do not see it because you keep insisting, ‘I know what it is.’ But if you sayit is what it is,’ your single-minded opinion of the way is going to reveal it is complemented by feeling lost. And since you are in a world of duality, this twofoldness makes you feel complete. Thus nothing seems to be missing.

Should you want to speed up the undoing of the belief in being and having more than that which is One, you say ‘dunno what it is,’ thus forgetting you appear to be someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. This does not mean that your experiences are transformed. Change is a concept of duality. But it means there is nobody to confirm them as something. Hence you do not get the satisfaction of duality but the bliss of nothing.

Suppose you remain in this state of not-knowing for more than 20 minutes, 45 at most. In that case, the brain gives up fabricating experiences as if you are someone having them in a world where there seems to be more than one (read more about that here) because if nobody ratifies them as something, they are exposed as nothing. Hence all experiences dematerialise, and so does the brain, eventually.

You do not have to use the same words for the perceptions mentioned above to play the game of duality, deny it, or leave it altogether. Instead of saying ‘it is what it is,’ you could, for example, say ‘shit happens,’ or ‘so what.’ Read more about that in Notes on perceptions.

And if the duality flow is what you expect to get, it does not matter if you apply the perception ‘it is what it is’ to your reaction to an experience or the experience itself. However, it may take some time before you accept the nature of duality. So until then, you perceive your response to an experience as ‘it is what it is’ to get in sync with duality, thus being revitalised by the duality flow.

Also: In hack #4.3 The toxic mix of physical and non-physical issues, you were told to separate the psychological aspect from the physical one in a psychosomatic disorder so the body can heal itself. However, this is only if you are new to the duality flow. If you know it and do not want to be disturbed by the symptoms of a psychosomatic problem, you perceive your reaction to the symptoms as ‘it is what it is’ because you want to be in the duality flow. And so you are.

bottle-up-emotionsHow to suppress feelings?
If you are not already aware, here are a few samples:

  • Talking about what others do or say instead of how that makes you feel.
  • Trying to help others to remove the attention from you and how you feel yuorself.
  • Falling in love hides the self-hatred inside.
  • Talking about metaphysically things instead of acknowledging, what you feel.
  • Being upset about something on behalf of others.
  • Meditating, chanting, praying or doing similar things to fend off what you feel.
  • Finding psychological, or any other kinds of explanation for what you feel.
  • Eating or drinking to suppress ones’ feelings.
  • Trying to prove a factual point to hide what you feel.
  • Following ideas for living in the now, or trying to live by any other totalirian concept.
  • Blaming others and justify your feelings by them.
  • Much planning and control.
  • Constantly looking for new things to buy or change.
  • Trying to always be in a good mood.
  • Working a lot and for instance clean your home, when you are upset.
  • Reading or playing computer games regularly.
  • Having revenge sex.
  • Staging yourself on Facebook – perhaps to get as many likes and followers as possible.
  • Publish photos of your happy and shiny life on Instagram.
  • Quoting others to prove you are right.
  • Keep imagining how to solve things or just making up stories.
  • Sitting with crossed legs, locking the knees by bending them backwards, raising one or both shoulders or pushing them forward.
  • Holding back the breath.
  • Assuming to know what is right and wrong.
  • Concluding this and that.

And how to not suppress your feelings?
In the duality flow feelings become very defined, but only in relation to their counterpart. Therefore, since they are not definitive but relative, you have no specific feelings to suppress.

NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality.