Making a special self

Updated April 7, 2023

The multiplication of thoughts required to construct an image of you as an independent entails stress, thus, a tired body. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When not suppressing feelings by holding back the breath or altering its natural rhythm via yoga, for example, you are effortlessly synced with the brain’s script, thus being the basic self. And since very few thoughts are required to maintain this synchronisation, they do not seem disturbing but encouraging.

That is, until the consciousness, the brain has installed in the basic self to be aware of itself, decides it knows better than its maker, and plots to change the basic self into a special one. However, shaping and maintaining a special self requires a more complicated construction of thoughts than the simple one accumulated by the brain to create and uphold the basic self.

Hence the rogue consciousness perceives one of the brain’s experiences to be so scary that fear makes you hold your breath long enough for thoughts to be imprisoned in the gap, from where they force their way out by multiplying themselves. Having escaped, they continue their frantic multiplication, which pleases the rogue consciousness because it needs lots of thoughts to make a special self come into being, appearing independent of the brain.

But in a world of duality, all thoughts come in pairs of opposing elements to define each other, for example, right and wrong. Therefore, since you cannot have one without the other, you are never solely right or wrong. However, the rogue consciousness does not want the elements in the duality pairs to collaborate because it wants to set up a self that is solely good without traces of evil, and you can decide only to feel love for someone and hate for another, for example.

To disconnect the opposing sides in the duality pairs into distinct elements, the rogue consciousness first imagines a judge determining which emotions are distinctively good and evil. Then, an executioner punishes the bad feelings by excluding them from the new self. Thus it looks only good, having that feeling of being special.

When not interfering with the few thoughts, the brain keeps circulating for you to have a continuous experience of being a basic self, it feels entertaining. But it feels frustrating if you make a perception of the basic self that twists it into something more special. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

But when good and evil are separated, they cannot define each other, as when collaborating in a duality pair. Hence you do not get a genuine but conceptualised experience of good and evil. Nevertheless, that suits the rogue consciousness because, with emotions cut off, the special self can mentally decide what good and evil feel like, thus being the master.

You cling to a thought-up version of emotions. And since you believe your single-minded notions are real, you clash with the world of duality pairs.

However, it is hard to constantly suppress genuine feelings to experience good and bad in a thought-up way – or twist experiences into a collectively agreed concept of having a good time. Besides, the suppressed emotions mess up the natural flow of the breath, thus the stream of thoughts used to keep the body healthy, wherefore the body seems inflicted with psychosomatic illnesses. So although the special self probably appears as good as planned, it does not genuinely feel good.

What you believe in being is a construction of thoughts compiled by the brain into pairs of contrasting elements. You do not want to separate them when in sync with their ongoing interaction because it makes you feel complete.

On the other hand, the basic self feels fulfilled regardless of appearance because it does not break up the duality pairs but goes with the interaction of their opposing elements. It does not mean the basic self is perfect but feels complete in the duality flow. Read about that in Duality Hack #8 The duality flow goes to non-duality.

You get into the duality flow by perceiving your single-minded idea of, for example, good or evil as ‘it is what it is’. That reveals your rigid view is twofold, wherefore goodness is in evil and vice versa (read more about that in Duality Hack #6 Happiness is to be in touch with the brain). But instead of accepting that, you probably accuse the brain of messing up good things. However, since you are a product of the brain (read more about that here), your disapproval is a condemnation of yourself.

If the brain wants you to run, it uses the biological system to signal it to the body, which starts running regardless you are a basic or special self. The basic self, as always, feels entertained by following the brain’s commands. In contrast, the special self loathes the brain and its simple ideas of entertainment and thinks it knows better, even though it does not know who it is. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When the consciousness of the basic self goes rogue, it responds like a spell checker to the calm stream of thoughts coming from the brain, automatically interpreting it to make the self, which initially was made and administered by the brain, appear self-made and independent of the brain.

But since the rogue consciousness interpretations of the stream of thoughts are single-minded, thus out of sync with duality, thoughts run wild. At first, this seems scary to the basic self, but the rogue consciousness convinces it that it is for the best because now it has endless possibilities. Besides, the rogue consciousness promises that by being special, you are independent of the brain, thus able to arrange everything in your special way and pace. That often makes the basic self trust the rogue consciousness’ corrections, not knowing it must spend many years in school learning to label the modifications to act unique in predefined ways.

Both the basic and the special self is a construction of thoughts. But whereas the basic self is simple, the special self is a complicated construction made to sow discord by insisting on being better. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

In other words, appearing independent and special is complicated and exhausting, whereas being basic is uncomplicated and vitalising. Therefore, if you want to have a good time while appearing as someone in a world of duality, use one or more of Alexius’ Duality Hacks to enter a state of not-knowing. It wipes the slate clean of all misperceptions, thus restoring the basic self. Since it is relative to the brain, it is in sync with its experiences as they are and not as they could be if you were a special self following a specific philosophy. See, The basic self is relative, thus without ego.

NOTE: This article is part of Duality Hack #5 The worry-free life of the basic self.