Thoughts about meditation, the basic and special self

Updated May 19, 2022

To define something as small, it must be contrasted with something tall. But if the special self hates big things, it excludes tall. But as you cannot experience one side of a contrast without the other, you also exclude small when you exclude tall. So if you perceive to be free from hatred, the love you believe to experience is fake. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The brain’s function is to create entertaining thoughts for the self that it has fabricated. Therefore, if thoughts do not seem to please but frustrate the self, its consciousness most likely perceives the flow of them so they comply with a conceptualised way of living, such as capitalism, socialism, spiritualism or another ism meant to make the self feel more special.

But since this perception is founded on a particular belief system, it is restricted by its concepts. And since self-discipline does not make you delighted but angry, you do not get the fulfilment the belief system has promised. Instead, you get stress and confusion – primarily because the thoughts you have compiled to keep your perception in line with your preferred belief system do not like your manipulation. Hence, they move faster and faster to escape your domination.

No worries, if you do not try to stop this restless energy, it automatically ignites a take-off into the empty breath, where the slate is wiped clean for misperceptions. Read more about that in hack #5.2 The empty breath and the bliss of not believing to be someone. Therefore, since there are only perceptions in sync with the experiences the brain produces, you feel entertained by all of them. Fortunately, you do not have to uphold these perceptions yourself. The brain does that automatically if you do not interfere. Read more about that in hack #4.2 The brain’s script and how to perceive it to feel happy.


Since the basic self is relative to the experiences created by the brain (read more about that here), it is not definitive. Hence the inexact flow of thoughts coming from the brain seems natural. But not to the special self because it wants to be definitive.

To distance itself from the brain, the special self composes a perception in which the basic self seems to have been transformed into someone definitive independent of the brain. However, this twisted perception calls for more thoughts than those few the brain has available to make a perception aligned with the basic self. Thus, the special self meditates to generate more thoughts.


The special self needs alcohol, drugs or meditation to escape the fear of repercussion that manipulating others entails. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Those who perceive themselves as unique beings with the power to do things in their way and pace need many thoughts to uphold this twisted perception. However, the movement of all these thoughts soon becomes so hectic that they try to slow them down via meditation.

That is the official reason. But as anybody who has meditated knows, thoughts multiply when trying to control them. And that is the real reason for meditating because many thoughts are needed to construct a unique appearance.


The basic self does not feel disturbed by the flow of thoughts from the brain. On the contrary, it loves this quiet flow because it makes it easy to serve the brain in a laid-back way. However, the special self does not want to serve but master the brain. Thus it feels disturbed by its thoughts, although, if not interfering, there are only a few.

The frantic flow of thoughts, the special self experiences, has been generated by itself. It has multiplied the simple flow, the brain develops to maintain a basic itself into a large group of thoughts from which it can compose a perception of itself as an independent being. Read more about that here. Then, when it needs a break from the multitudes of thoughts, it looks for something numbing like alcohol, drugs or a mantra.

Should it manage to relax, it feels horrified because, without all the special thoughts it has generated, the idea of being in control falls apart. Hence there is no self-deception to hide that you are dependent on the brain, which depends on you to have a twofold response to its experiences, so their dualistic nature is confirmed.

However, not fighting this interdependence, there is nothing to hide, that all the brain’s experiences of you as someone in a world of duality are as unreal as being someone in the virtual world of a computer game. Fortunately, duality is as entertaining as a computer game when you play the game of twofoldness. Read more about that in hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality.


Most like to believe they feel upset because of the flow of thoughts coming from the brain. However, the distress comes from the attempt to edit it. When a single thought is sought out from the stream of thoughts, it generates a new stream, and if a specific thought is singled out from that, yet another stream is made, and so on – just like if you split a neutron from an atom nucleus, it sends out more neutrons all by itself, that split and sends out more neutrons. It is a chain reaction.


The special self feels dominated by the natural flow of thoughts coming from the brain. But it is dominated by nothing other than its perception of the flow of thoughts. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self likes to believe that visualising something specific makes it happen because that seems to confirm it is in control of its life.

But it is like thinking the TV show you turn on by hitting the remote control is made by you. Somebody else has made the show, and the only thing you can change is your perception of it. This is also how the basic self has been transformed into a special self, namely by perceiving the basic self so that it seems to have become an independent being in charge of its own life.

But the special self needs constant approval from others to feel this is so. To get that, it often establishes a family, which it can manipulate into giving it the confirmation it needs. If that does not work as intended, the special self may pay a psychologist to ratify its uniqueness. Yet it does not realise how dependent it is on those supporting its perception of being independent.


The brain works like nature, throwing seeds here and everywhere without worrying about the outcome. Therefore, serving the brain, you also have fun doing that. But those who believe to be in charge of themselves think much about the result of their actions. They want to get as much as possible for as little as possible (read more about that here). Hence they organise the seeds in straight lines, resulting in much profit but no fun. Some solve that by buying things that make them happy for a while. And others try to find something spiritual inside them to feel good. But the way to feel good is to serve the brain because it has created you to do that.


When the brain scripts you to feel sexual lust, you will feel horny no matter what you believe in being. However, you will not enjoy it if you try to suppress it through meditation or tantra sex. Read more about sex here.


If you perceive yourself to be detached from the experiences of the brain, you fool yourself because you need them to prove this.


When you try to solve absent-mindedness through mindfulness meditation or grounding exercises, you make it worse because you do not know who you are. Only your maker knows that. And since it is the brain, the solution, in the context of believing to be someone, is to be aligned with the stream of thoughts coming from the brain instead of using meditation to distance yourself from it.


Mindfulness is for those who cannot help exploiting others – just like in ancient times, monks introduced meditation to the barbarians seeking shelter in Ashrams to control themselves, thus refraining from abusing others.


The basic self is aware of itself as someone substantial by continually perceiving the experiences the brain produces as tangible. However, if it twists its perception of these experiences to make them appear spiritual, they are not seen as they are but how they could be. Consequently, the self disassociates itself from the brain, thus itself, since what and where it appears to be is a product of the brain. Read more about that in What and where you believe to be is the brain.

In other words, since the self’s perceived independence of the brain is a disassociation from itself, every act that the self perceives to do in its way and pace deepens the alienation. That is why meditating to become purer, higher and whatnot enhances the feeling of remoteness instead of closeness. Hence you do not get the joy of appearing as someone substantial in a tangible world, nor do you get around to undoing the belief in being definable because the imagination of being spiritual suppresses that.


Having established itself as someone in charge of its life, the special self needs to meditate or something else that seems to make it able to control thoughts to fool itself into believing that thoughts are not produced by the brain but by itself. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

It is impossible to alter the stream of thoughts the brain produces to uphold the basic self it has created. So instead, the consciousness the brain has installed in the self makes a perception of the stream that establishes the self, not the brain, as its maker. Then, like a god, it says, »This is my creation.« And Bam! The world, as it perceives it, appears to manifest. Next, it says, »I am an independent being.’ And Bam! The perception is ratified as a fact.

Third, it builds a character with a few flaws, so it always has something to improve through meditation, Tai Chi or something else that makes it seem to be in control, thus able to be and have something specific. This makes it feel unique but not satisfied because it is all on its own.


The basic self has no need to relax or transform itself through meditation, yoga, fitness and whatnot. On the contrary, as its perception is in sync with the stream of thoughts coming from the brain, it is rewarded with shots of happiness. Therefore, since it regularly forgets to remember being someone, it knows there is nothing to transform.

On the other hand, the special self never forgets to remember being somebody. It is always on a mission to become more and be part of something greater. But since that never turns out as expected, it settles for following someone that seems to improve its social status.


If you need to relax, you are on a mission to be someone definitive. Because to achieve that, you have perceived the stream of thoughts coming from the brain excluded the thoughts you find upsetting. Since that does not result in peace but fear of the repressed, you look for something to relax. However, not trying to edit the ever-changing flow of thoughts but perceiving it as ‘it is what it is,’ you are not someone definitive but relative to the present experience produced by the brain. Thus hating what you dislike feels just as exciting as loving what you like. Hence there is no need to relax.


Nothing appears to be good enough for the special self because it interprets the noise in its head as a voice whispering, ‘there must be more.’ This is also the voice it follows when it meditates to find more peace. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self always looks for something to fix. But it objects to the solution that would fix everything immediately, namely not perceiving the brain as an enemy but as a friend (read more about that here). By doing that, everybody becomes a friend because the experience of others is produced by the brain.

Ultimately speaking, the solution is to undo the belief in being someone who experiences something. As this is the end of being someone, the special self avoids it by meditating or something else that seems to confirm it exists.


Those who believe they have free will are easily manipulated by the many doctrines of the world, such as how to be spiritual, socialistic, capitalistic or something else they think will make them independent of the brain’s ways.

However, you cannot avoid the brain’s commands – just like a car cannot determine the direction itself. It is in the hands of the driver. Likewise, you are in the hands of the brain.

Yet, unlike a car, you have a consciousness free to perceive the direction as you want. In the case of the special self, it makes a perception in which it has excluded everything that does not fit into the special doctrine it believes will make it more unique and independent. But it is make-believe. Nothing changes but the way the special self sees it.


The self that the brain has fabricated from nothing (read more about that here) and continuously administers, so it appears to be something, feels restricted when it imagines the freedom it could have if not managed by the brain but itself. But the self cannot be changed, only the perception of it. Therefore, no matter how you perceive yourself, you are still the same self that the brain has created and manages.


There is no moment without the past and the future. For example, to keep the balance on a wheel, like in this photo, you must deal with both. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen

If you perceive the brain’s basic rendering of you as someone in a capsule of time and space as a bit boring, the special self sets in by offering you more exotic ways of perceiving it, for example, by coming from the heart (read more about that here), living in the now or having direct experiences.

But since all experiences – no matter where you believe they come from or how they seem to be experienced – are constructions of thoughts fabricated by the brain (read more about that here), these special perceptions are nothing but a reconstruction of the thoughts made by the brain.

But they do not work because they are exclusive and not inclusive. Any experience the brain creates consists of all thoughts popping up at that moment, including those of the past and the future. When in sync with the whole bunch, every moment feels perfect. See hack #3.1 Every moment is the perfect moment.

But this is not how it feels if you eliminate some of those thoughts so you can adjust to concepts like coming from the heart, living in the now or having direct experiences. This makes you feel imperfect.


Just like the night excludes the day and vice versa, spirituality excludes consciousness and vice versa.


It is foolish to think you are someone in a computer game just because it seems to make you feel something. Whatever you believe in feeling is based on your interpretation of computer-generated events. In other words, what you feel is made by you. The same applies to what you feel in the world where you believe to read this. If you feel good about the article, you have chosen to interpret your response to it like that. Consequently, it is your choice whether you feel good or bad.

It is also your doing to assume that a god, higher consciousness or whatnot is making the world where you believe in being. There is neither god nor you, as that requires more than one, and there is no more than that which is One since it is formless and therefore endless.