How to not be fearful but blissful

Updated May 14, 2022

It requires much effort to be exclusive, whereas inclusiveness requires none because you are inclusive when you are not exclusive. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The more beauty you look for, the more ugliness you will see because beauty cannot be defined without ugliness. This is how it is in a world of duality. It is experienced through contrasts.

Fortunately, contrasts can also be used to undo the belief in duality. For example, when beauty is entirely included by you being nothing but beautiful, there is not something to contrast you and thus nothing to define you as somebody. Therefore, there is nobody to perceive the apparent difference between beauty and ugliness to make a difference. Thus duality falls apart.


Since the opposing sides of a contrast are defined by each other, you cannot have one without the other. Therefore, no contrast = no definition = no experience = no duality = non-duality.


Exclusiveness generates the belief in scarcity, whereas inclusiveness creates nothing. Therefore, since there is not something to miss when being inclusive, you are in a pool of bliss.


Hatred seems to be excluded from you when it is justified by the world. But this also includes love because when hate cannot be experienced internally, neither can its contrast love. However, as these emotions only are excluded from your awareness, they remain in you, hidden behind a feeling of fear in the emptiness generated by your dissociation of hate and love.

Emptiness also comes from the inclusion of hate because that leaves nothing to contrast it, wherefore it is undefinable. Hence neither hatred nor its contrast, love, can be experienced. But since this emptiness is not based on the suppression of feelings but their inclusion, it does not result in fear but the bliss of nothing.

In a state of not-knowing, nothing seems to be different from you. That is pure bliss Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

In this state of emptiness, nothing in a world where there seems to be more than one appears to make sense. Moreover, since it is a state of not-knowing, you cannot know how long you are in it. But measured in linear time, it is not that long – at least not if you want to return to the consciousness of being someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. In that case, you quickly have to return to the conscious experience of being someone definitive, so you can perceive to differ from what you experience.

When doing that, the world appears to be just like before you entered a state of not-knowing, except you are approaching it less emotionally. This does not mean there are no emotions, but that you play with them instead of being played by them. It may offend others, but that is not a problem if you are inclusive because the less there is a need to be part of a world where there seems to be more than one.


Instead of trying to escape uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, you experience them so much that you are nothing but what you want to avoid. This exposes what you want to refrain from as nothing because when you are only that, there is not something else to define it.

Be aware, though, that if you experience hate to the extent that you are nothing but hatred, not only hate will go away but also its contrast love, as they are two sides of the same coin. So if you extend this inclusiveness of one side of a contrast to all of them, there does not appear to be something to hide non-duality.


You want to believe that it is possible to be and have more than that which is one, so you imagine there is a world outside of the formlessness of that which is one, where there is more than one. But there is nothing outside of oneness since it is formless and therefore endless. Nor is there something inside, as without an outside, there is no inside.


Without contrast, the cat would disappear in empty space. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The less the opposing elements of a contrast appear to make a difference, the less they produce meaning – and since bliss comes from the absence of meaning, there is nothing but that.


Should you want to remain in a world of duality, you must always hold back so that you do not lose yourself in the intensity of an experience. Finding mistakes or claiming that you need time to process what has happened are common ways of holding back so that you do not lose yourself in the intensity of the moment.


If you, by reflex, exclude specific feelings as soon as they pop up, and at the same moment, forget what you excluded and why there is no need to change that. Nor do you need to improve your understanding of inclusiveness if the explanations seem complicated.

Whatever you appear to be in a world where there seems to be more than one needs no correction – only the belief that you are this appearance, and not the formlessness of oneness, needs to be corrected. This occurs when you entirely include what you experience to be at this moment. Are you not aware of that, you include feeling foggy by being willing to be nothing but a haze. Since that leaves nothing to define what you are, you are empty and thus not what you appear to be.

The willingness often comes from admitting that you are not willing to be completely inclusive because even though it results in pure bliss, it is the end of you as someone definitive since bliss is the absence of being someone at all.


If you want to undo the belief in duality, do not hold back feelings or slow down thoughts but follow the flow of them unedited. This makes the experience of sex, for example, so intense that it obliterates itself because in the ecstasy of it, there is no room for anything else, and there is not something to be experienced without a contrast. Hence there is no experience and, therefore, no experiencer to believe in duality.


Willingness to include the moment unfiltered undoes the belief in being someone definitive. This willingness, however, nobody has, but by admitting that, you are including the moment as it is. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

A sure way to not exclude but include is not knowing what is going on, as that means there is not something to exclude.


Alexius’ Duality Hacks are not about undoing mistakes in a world where there seems to be more than one, but the belief that there is more than that which is one.


When you cannot remember what you included, it has been wholly included.


Thinking you are in a joyful mood because of the sunset or the wind refreshing your warm body, you justify the feeling of joy and thereby dissociate yourself from it in proportion to how much it is justified to be caused by something perceived outside of you.

You probably choose to distance yourself from feeling too much joy because that would make you forget yourself. Hence there would be nobody to control your appearance as sexy and good-looking in the sunset – or in the future setups you have planned as someone definitive. In other words, the imagination of being someone specific seems more exciting than that which cannot be imagined nor experienced, namely the formlessness of oneness.


Assuming one needs to process what is going on, most go ahead as if it is driving a car with the brakes on. However, holding back does result in fear, whereas releasing the brake is pure joy because it comes from going so fast that there is no time to define what and where you are. Be aware that this is a metaphor, so when physically driving a car, you use the brake when needed.


Although Alexius´ cat, Uma, is dead, their love affair goes on because Alexius has included his experience of it. But practically speaking, it is, of course, over because Uma has returned to the nothingness from where she seemed to arise. Therefore, since the love in his heart for Uma has become the bliss of nothing, Alexius and Uma go alone together, blissfully accompanied by soundless meowing, on a road that nobody can walk to oneness because no one has left it. Of course, Alexius and Uma are alone together with everyone appearing to be someone because, in the togetherness of nothing, there is no separation. Read about that in hack #7 Alone together we go home. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Including somebody makes them live forever. However, not in the limited way when they were defined by what had been excluded from them. But in an all-inclusive manner. It is a bit like when you fall in love, many people look like the one you fancy. In the case of somebody included, though, everything you see is a reminder of them as they were and thus of everything.

In the case of Alexius, he had a cat that died in his arms when it was only eight months old. Alexius had felt very touched by her in her short life, so for a long time, he woke up crying every day. He tried to find pleasure in the memories of their time together, but when the images of his cat, Uma, started to fade, he realised he was on the wrong track.

In the memories of Uma, she represented something defined by time and space, and she was not definable anymore. So instead of trying to uphold the memories as something specific, he included them. Therefore, since they became boundless, the feeling of Uma was in everything. Hence there was no loss to mourn.

Sometimes, though, he forgot that. But grieving only resulted in fleeting memories, so he returned to the stable feeling of Uma in everything. He managed this by not blocking the breath from going through the muscles involved in crying. Therefore, since the muscles softened instead of cramping up and making him cry,* they did not maintain his previous relation to Uma as someone specific.

And when Uma is everywhere, she is also in Alexius´ memories. Thus he can enjoy his past physical moments with Uma like the ongoing non-physical ones accompanying his present experiences, making them all pleasurable.

There is more about Alexius and Uma in You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, and about death in Inclusiveness turns death into a portal to that which is one. In hack #4.3 The toxic mix of physical and non-physical issues, you can read more about upholding a specific perception by holding back your breath.

Perceiving everything as ‘it is what it is,’ any experience feels good enough

*) This is not meant to say, crying is wrong. But sometimes, it is better not to follow the flow of muscles leading to crying and instead fall into the flexibility of the muscles and thus feel relaxed.