The YOU finger and the three ME fingers

Updated September 7, 2022

Please judge me. Point your finger at me, so you can forgive yourself for what you have judged yourself to be by following your three fingers back to yourself.

The three ME fingers point back to you using the YOU finger to point out somebody’s fault. Thus you can experience what is going on in you when you blame somebody for being wrong. For example, maybe you have always done the right thing but sometimes secretly wanted not to give a shit. But since you consider that incorrect and want to be correct, you disassociate yourself from this desire by condemning somebody else for being wrong. The graphic is grabbed from the web.

When you point the YOU finger towards somebody, the three ME fingers point towards yourself to reveal that what you blame others for is your shit.

Let us say you point the YOU finger at your boss and either silently or loudly claim he is a ruthless dictator. But simultaneously, the three ME fingers point back to you to expose the feeling authority figures triggers in you. Maybe it is a feeling of being a worthless worker that you hide from yourself by accusing your boss of being a ruthless dictator who takes away your self-respect.

To keep up your specific appearance, you always look for others opinions. Yet you do not know, what they think. It is something you think, they think. In other words, it is nobody but yourself you are up against.

If you always control yourself to do the right thing, you may feel dominated by society. However, you are the suppressor of yourself. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This feeling of inferiority may come from your childhood. Perhaps you never were allowed to do your own thing. Instead, you had to adjust to your parent’s way. Pleasing them by always doing the right thing became a pattern in your life. So though you control yourself to make your boss happy, it feels like you are ruled by the boss, as if you are denied your space.

This is not to say that you must visit unresolved issues from the past to free yourself from them. Regardless of the reason, the pattern you once initiated repeats itself constantly. Hence you have many instances of blaming others for feeling inadequate, thus seeing it in them so you can bring it back in yourself instead of hiding it behind an appearance of perfection. Be aware that not hiding being flawed is not about analysing or embracing your feeling of inferiority. On the contrary, since this requires you to observe it, the distance to it is enhanced. You simply be whatever you feel when you perceive others to have taken your space. That is it.

If you want to see, what prevents you from enjoying the moment as it is, keep blaming somebody else for your present state of your mind. By doing that, you see what you try to escape in the present moment.

When you do not continually project onto others what you are ashamed of in yourself, you are free to be together as you are. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This leaves nothing to define your being, so nobody feels inferior anymore. Therefore, since you do not perceive others as superior, you and others are set free. In other words, you need not spend a lifetime of meditation or therapy to find the problems hidden inside of you. It takes less than a minute to see them outside of you. Just point the YOU finger at somebody and blame them for what you feel. Next, follow the three ME fingers to expose what this makes you feel. Then, be that feeling and nothing else. Therefore, since there is nothing to define it, it fades out, and you are free from past conditioning.

The above inclusion of a feeling works like an eraser because what you include is not stored in the memory as something specific, so you will not know what you have included. Read more about that in hack #3.1 Inclusiveness is freedom. You may notice, though, that you are not so tense and that next time you encounter a scenario that used to upset you, you may laugh and wonder, how come you ever insisted it was wrong.

The point of reference in the above was feeling upset. But everything said in this regard also applies to feeling good. For example, by pointing the YOU finger at someone, saying: »You make me happy,« you can see the happiness you have forgotten in yourself. So following the three ME fingers back to you, you can include your happiness instead of excluding it by projecting it on somebody else. Thus you can be together with others without expecting something specific from them.

By pointing the YOU finger at somebody, and follow the three ME fingers, you include what you have excluded from yourself.

Feel free to point your judging finger at Alexius and follow the three fingers pointing back to you so you feel what your accusation triggers in you. Feeling that, and nothing else, there is not something to define the problem. Thus you have set yourself and Alexius free. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you get upset about typos or anything else in Alexius’ Duality Hacks, feel free to condemn Alexius, so you can see the judgements you have made upon yourself mirrored right in front of you.

This does not necessarily mean you realise that you also make typos, but that you feel what it does to you when you point to somebody as imperfect. Maybe you have perfected an image of yourself as someone being a good person, thus always doing the right thing but secretly dreaming about not giving a shit. By getting furious at Alexius for doing something wrong, your secret seems safe, and the image of you as someone who never does anything wrong is highlighted by making somebody else incorrect. But if you follow the three ME fingers back to yourself, you get in touch with the rebel in you. Acknowledging this, you are relieved because now you do not have to suppress your wildness.

This is just an example. Perhaps something else is going on in you that you want to hide by blaming somebody for something. Maybe you are not aware of what it is. Fortunately, you do not have to be that. The willingness to be what others seem to make you feel will do.